The Big Mess...

I am feeling overwhelmed with information right now. After speaking to my Family Doctor and getting a copy of the blood tests results the previous one, 2009 (first studies) I discovered many abnormal things.
The results are not Borderline, they are POSITIVE!!!!!!!! And no one told me that!

That's not all, results were positive in 2009 and they are positive now!!!! not borderline, plain POSITIVE!!!
it is written, I can see it, this is serious!

The ANA Test

In 2009 after complaining for a while of pain in my joints, such pain that it prevented me from doing normal activities and some other symptoms, Scalp Rash that doesn't go away and today is still present, Insomnia, Anxiety, Depression, Allergies, Inability to fight colds and getting sick so often. The doctor ordered blood tests and sent to see an specialist, The Rheumatologist dismissed me without even doing the minimal test!
Today with the results of 2009 in my hands I see the ANA test is POSITIVE!!!! and no one told me about it, instead this Rheumatologist wrote a letter to my family doctor, I will quote the specialist and will add my own comments right after, just to show how incompetent and stupid, yes, stupid this doctor is, I'm so upset right now, and I know it doesn't help but I feel the urge to let it all out!
 Doctor: "... This pleasant lady was seen complaining of joint pains present since April 2009... she complains of vague aches in her joints..."
Vague aches!!!! Helloooooooo, It is serious freaking pain, to the point of going to the doctor because of it and to the point of reducing ,my normal activities due to the pain, also some days I can't even get out of bed due to this pain in my joints. People that know me well can attest that I am not a cry baby and if I say something hurts is because it hurts and a lot!  .. and seriously when was I ever pleasant?! LOL I have to laugh right? LOL
Doctor: ..."She takes no medication for this discomfort..." Helloooooooo, I DO take medication, have been taking for a while now and only God knows how bad that is for my system. I started with Naproxen 500mg, prescription, up to twice a day, then came Arthtrotec 500mg, again prescription, twice a day, and let's not talk about all the Advil, Tylenol, Ibuprofen and whatever shit I find on the pharmacy that I think might help.
Doctor: ..."The general physical exam and musculoskeletal exam were normal..." What exam????? This doctor didn't even check my fingers and I don't even remember him letting me talk about how I was feeling, he had the impression that because I am in Fitness Industry I'm beating my body up and well, I'm tired.
Doctor:..." I feel this results could be a False Positive Blood Test Result" EXCUSE ME, since when doctors "feel" ? what happened to science? what about taking two minutes to look further into my blood and body and listen to my complaints? I'm very unhappy right now, in fact I'm mad!!!!

No body told me about this positive ANA results in 2009, it seems that both my Family Doctor and the specialist ignored completely the signs. And in the meantime I am filling my system with Arthritis prescriptions, sleeping pills, Allergy pills, I'm also being treated for anxiety and depression and by the Dermatologist I am treated for a scalp rash that refuses to go away, my body doesn't fight viruses and bacteria and I get sick twice or more in a month, anemia, low blood pressure and somehow all that added to the ANA positive test would be enough material to make a diagnosis... Helloooo, somebody wake up!!!!

Now 2011 comes and I'm pushing harder for more tests because I WAS IN PAIN!!!! My joints are so painful that I had to reduce my training and my normal activities are hard to perform and if it is cold and damp forget it, I have trouble moving! And the doctor thinking that I'm tired and I beat my body up, well, I'm not tired and due to all the pain and inability to fight this annoying colds I can't train like I used to, I no longer lift weights, no more kickboxing, BJJ, Taekwondo or any strenuous activities on a regular basis like I used to. I went from 10-15 classes a week to only 5 and sometimes I can't even perform because I'm in pain, if I push too hard the next day I'll have a cold or a respiratory tract infection. I used to train my body 5 times a week, now I'm lucky if I make it to Yoga once or twice a week. Seriously I feel like an old lady about to cripple! In the last 2 and half years I have kept all this secret since I had come to believe that it was actually in my head, since my blood test said nothing serious (they did but nobody told me or paid attention) and my doctor insisted that I was fine, I just needed to relax a bit more, take a hot bath and an Advil... I don't take baths, I shower!!!
Well after checking the 2011 results, the ANA test came back POSITIVE!!!!! shit, same thing like 2009.
It is a big mess because I thought that the achy joints were due to my period, that the colds and all the rest were somehow linked to that and in a sea of so many symptoms in about 3 years things get lost in translation. I don't even make sense anymore!
The only reason why I am feeling better is because I'm taking TCM treatments and they really help, I'm not back to normal, whatever normal means but I am certainly feeling better.

I'm freaking out and had a serious conversation with my husband about it, I asked him to call our Family Doctor and explain exactly what I just explained to him. I asked Hubby to do it, because I was so overwhelmed with the information and upset at the incompetence of this practitioners that I couldn't articulate without breaking into tears. Hubby called and when hubby calls, people move and get serious, don't mess up with hubby, he knows how to move things around and since he was uninfluenced by emotions he could explain clear and much better than me the whole situation. My Family Doctor then decides to call the Rheumatologist, get my "charts" and check them himself, he finds out that things are serious. He called my husband and asked that I called him when I was not busy and had time to talk. I did, told him all I read about Lupus, told him that the Rheumatologist dismissed me once again even with all the evidence we had that there is a serious problem going on. I was concerned. I asked for a copy of my blood test (to send to my cousin, a Rheumatologist who lives in Spain) so I could get a second opinion.
By this time my Family Doctor feels the concern and strength in my voice and he starts asking questions like : "are you sleeping well?" Hellooo you forgot I've been treated for a "sleeping disorder"... Any rashes? Helloooo The rash in my scalp and face that won't go away and you sent me to the dermatologist to check! Any Pain? Colds? Allergies? aaaaarrrrrggggg don't you know I am going through all of it? was my reply!!! he asked many other questions that he was in the end answering himself. I am not mad at my family doctor, he is a good friend of the family and he has been very helpful many times. He says that since he left me in the hands of the specialist he trusted that the Rheumatologist was going to do a good job, but he didn't!
He offers the copy of all the tests and promises that now he is going to be careful and he is sending me to see someone else to get a serious opinion.

I am upset at the incompetence of this physicians, where did science go? In this first-world country, Canada, and with the amount of taxes we pay I expect to see people do their job, specially when it comes to the health of a human being. People say, "you have free medical care in Canada and that is awesome" No, is not! and is not free either, we pay for it and we pay lots of money for it! It takes months to get an appointment, unless you know someone that knows someone or unless you go private which is very expensive and then Doctors are so full with patients that they see you 5 minutes and then they want you out of the office. And if you need surgery, well, it better be a real emergency and you are about to die, otherwise you will wait for a looooooooong time. An MRI, forget it! 4-5 months waiting list or go private and pay $800 and the list goes on! The system is just wacked!

I called to make an appointment with the new Rheumatologist, he is supposed to be very good and I have another Rheumatologist on the list for a third opinion plus my cousin in Spain, with that I should get to the bottom of things, just for the diagnosis. As for treatment and options to get and feel better, I'm going somewhere else, yes you guessed right, there!

As for the Lupus itself or any Autoimmune Disease, I am not sad about it, I cried a bit here and there today and yesterday but it is more out of a combination of anger, joy, relief, a lot of emotions. I am finally in peace knowing that it is not in my head! That I am fighting something real and from here it could only get better. And yes, I'm mad at the incompetent Rheumatologist and a bit mad at My Family Doctor for not taking more time with me and not sticking to science. But in the end, the first Rheumatologist is out of the picture and my Family Doctor is now on board with this, he will do what it takes, that I am sure of, he has been through cancer three times and he knows how it is to be sick. And best of all, I have TCM and Ethan who I trust without reserves. If anything has changed in my health an attitude is thanks to Traditional Chinese Medicine and this wicked man that I've been lucky enough to meet! So, from here I can only get better and slowly reestablish my normal way of living. Sweet!

Next post, Qi Gong, Kung Fu, Acupuncture, Herbs... What I'm going to do to fix the big mess, it is obvious that Western Medicine is not up to the task, I will learn Chinese if I have to, and I will get out of this black cloud, I feel that I already have one foot out of it. Ready or not, here I come!!! Better be ready to come along or get out of my way!